


you still get my heart racing

by jakepurralta



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, drama fluff cheese is what i call this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 23:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5946724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jakepurralta/pseuds/jakepurralta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake hates - really hates - cheating.</p><p>He makes a solemn promise to Amy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you still get my heart racing

**Author's Note:**

> Been wanting to write this after Karen Peralta, but only got to it now. I love Jake Peralta so much. This song was written while listening to Never Stop by SafetySuit on repeat, specifically the wedding version.

 

He’s uncharacteristically silent on the way back home from his mother’s, but Amy can’t quite muster up the courage to ask him about it as his gaze is fiercely pointed at the road in front of them.

He asks if he can stay at hers tonight.

No specific reason is provided, but Amy suspects that his own place would trigger too many thoughts about his family that he can handle right now.

“Hey, it’s not that late,” Amy says when they enter her apartment 30 minutes later, with Jake already heading for her room. “Do you want to watch some TV? I can make some tea and you can snuggle up to me the way you like it.”

“Puppy dog stylez?” His eyes perk up momentarily, but the spark flickers away just as easily as it appeared. “Actually, never mind. I’m pretty tired, I think I’m just gonna catch some z’s.” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the bedroom with a crooked smirk that doesn’t convince Amy he’s feeling as nonchalant as he’s currently acting.

His eyes look distant and there’s a stiffness in his muscles, like he’s trying to repress something that’s eating him up inside. Amy doesn’t even need to be a detective to know what it is.

“Jake. Do you want to…talk to me about it?”

He clenches his jaw at that and averts his eyes to direct his obvious anger at anyone but her. They stand like that for what feels like minutes, with Jake tensely positioned in the doorway of her bedroom (his gaze to the side) and Amy a few feet away (gaze fixed on him). In this moment, all she wants is to just break this division between them and envelop him in an embrace (she hears Boyle in her head say, ‘ten minute hug’). But he’s processing, and she’s thinking that she can basically hear the figurative cogwheels in his brain spinning ferociously when turns and faces her, a resolute look on his face.

“I’ve just been thinking. You know?”

She nods slowly.

He starts pacing. “I’ve been thinking about everything that has happened tonight. I’ve been thinking about my mom. I love her. I respect her. I respect her decision to go back to him if that’s what she really wants. But that doesn’t mean that I condone his actions.”

“Of course.” Amy says when Jake looks at her, maybe to emphasize his point or maybe for reassurance. He continues pacing.

“I _hate_ what my father did. I _hate_ cheating. I mean, _scumbags_ are people who _say_ they’re committed to other people and then they go ahead and they sleep with their Sheila’s and then they destroy the lives of innocent people who deserved better than those scumbags. Because _that_ is what they are! They are life destroyers!”

Amy swallows as she watches her boyfriend’s body shiver as fury starts to overcome him. She knows he has to let it out. Whenever this anger about his father’s cheating threatened to surface, he’d try to cover it up by laughing it off, though the efforts were always intentionally poor, which Amy understood was Jake’s way of opening up about his true feelings.

But this raw, naked display of emotion felt new to her. And yet, strangely comforting.

There are many things she can derive from this:

  1. Jake hates cheating.
  2. He is convinced that people in relationships must be 100% committed to one another.
  3. He trusts her enough to open up to her like this.
  4. He would never cheat on her.



Almost as if on cue, Jake stops in his tracks, feeling like he’s run out of words to waste on his father. His eyes seek hers.

“Amy, I-“ The words get caught up in his throat, but he’s so determined to say them that he tries again. “I love you.”

It the second time he’s said it since the vacation, but the first time he’s said it without her going first. When she first told him that she loved him, she said it very matter-of-factly, because that’s exactly what it was. It was a simple fact and it made sense.

In pure Jake fashion, he instantly joked at that and she felt hopeless as she watched him instinctively shut himself off, like barriers magically spawned from the ground and protected him from her potentially breaching his trust.

She was about to let it go (for now) and just enjoy the rest of their night when Jake stopped dancing (the barriers went back down) and he told her that he loved her too, and he said it with just as much candor as she did.

But this time it’s different. This time their bodies aren’t mere inches from each other. This time, they’re (physically) further apart and it has only been seconds since he’s been fuming about his father and that’s when he decides to tells her that he loves her. He takes a step forward. “I would never-“

“I know, Jake.” She interrupts him faster than she can stop herself, and inwardly curses when he freezes in place. He needs this moment and she can’t take this away from him, no matter how much she knows about him. (She knows he would never, ever cheat on her. Or anyone else, for that matter.) “Sorry.”

He bites his bottom lip. “I love you, Amy.” He repeats, and she’s not sure if he’s doing that for her or himself. “And I’m really, really bad at this kind of stuff – which, by the way, is _not_ the title of our sex tape, we’ll high five about that later – but I swear you’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I would never intentionally do anything to ruin the trust you have in me, unlike some person I know. And if I do ever mess up – which I will because of who I am as a person – I swear to you, I’ll learn from that experience. Because I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you and I’m sure as hell it’s because of you, and I want to do everything in my power to keep you happy and as my partner along for the ride. I’m not going to screw this up. I don’t want to.”

She feels tears stinging in the corners of her eyes. Of course Jake Peralta is going to be faithful to her. He’s been hurt too many times by things that were out of his control and people have stomped all over him but it has shaped him into the man he is now. A man who loves with his entire being and is much, much better than he gives himself credit for.

And because words sometimes stumble from her lips like word vomit (make better mouth? Come on, Amy!) she hears herself saying, “Did you just spoil your wedding vows to me?”

And there it is. If there’s anything that defines their relationship, it’s how easy it is for them to transition from an extremely serious moment to a lighthearted one with just a snap of a finger.

“Well, if anyone’s inspired me to come prepared, it’s you, Ames. I figured I’d start working on mine soon enough.”

She’s too busy laughing with him to worry (or is that really the right word) about the fact that they’ve only been dating for a few months and they’re already talking about marrying one another. It just comes so naturally, it’s best to just go along with it than to fight it.

A tiny but determined promise settles itself in her mind, one that swears to shield Jake Peralta from harm as best as she can and vows to be the best partner she can be: one who stands by his side through thick and thin.

As she moves past him into her bedroom, she realizes that she’s already finalized her vow to him, and she didn’t even need a 3 days’ notice or a six page draft in Word. Nope, like many other things in her relationship with Jake, this too was wonderfully uncomplicated.

“You’re right.” He’s still watching her as she reaches out her hand. “It’s been a long day. We could both use a good night’s sleep.”

He thankfully takes her hand (and holds on a little tight) and lets her lead her to the bed.

Later, after they’ve both changed and they’re in bed, both of their breaths smelling like peppermint, Amy hears Jake’s tired voice ask, “Can I still take you up on the puppy dog thing?”


End file.
